Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Why adopt?

"Why would you adopt? Just have another of your own." 
That question makes my heart hurt.  We could have another biological child, God willing.  We have been fortunate enough not to struggle with infertility.  But I can't look at images of suffering, hurting, lonely, hungry, thirsty, dirty, sad children without thinking about doing something.  In response to sharing those thoughts, I was told to donate money.  Which is great.  And we have.  Most recently, we have collected donations for Haiti.  Donated to other worthwhile organizations who help fight poverty, hunger and thirst.  Both domestically and abroad.  But it is not enough for us.

I grew up with one or more pictures of children from across the world on my parent's refrigerator.  Children they had sponsored to be able to go to school, eat regularly, have a safe place to be.  That is a wonderful thing to be able to do for that child.  It is a needed.  But it is not enough for us.

I always wanted to adopt.  There was not a defining moment in my life that resulted in that determination. Although, I love Anne Shirley, Jack Kelly aka Francis Sullivan, and Annie Warbucks deeply.

I don't think Kendall has any deep connection to fictional (or non-fictional) adoptees from his childhood.  But regardless of his inability to understand a trio of girls singing "Tomorrow" at the top of their lungs, adoption is something that we have consistently discussed and desired over the past 11 years.
The choice between giving birth or adopting a child was not a difficult one for me.  I already felt - if we had a biological baby - that I would be turning my back on a baby who would complete our family.  A baby who we need and who needs us. I couldn't/can't do that.  So, the choice was easy for me.  I can't speak for Kendall except to say that he agrees.  Not to the same extent.  He doesn't have some sort of bond, connection to a child he has never seen, doesn't know.  But that is ok.  He didn't really have that bond with our girls until they were 2 or 3.  Or at least well into the pregnancy.  It will come.  We both agree with that fact.  He's just far more practical than I am.  Boring.  And while I dream of "pink ponies, happy sky," I am also well aware that the road we have chosen is not the easy one.  But we have never done things the easy way.  That would have been too...easy.

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