Your response to your request

Prelude
It has been many moons since our last post.  That's not entirely true.  Kendall posted in March but I made him delete it.  I was superstitious about putting things out in the internets (misspelling intentional) and ended up being right, as explained in the next paragraph.  As for my hiatus from blogging, I prefer not doing weekly "still waiting" or "please pray for us as we wait" posts.  It's just not my style.  I'm kind of an all or nothing type of person, which is evidenced by the never-posts of the last 6+ months.  I digress, now for the actual content of this entry.


We have received our approval from the Rwandan government to adopt. 

This is fantastic.  To many families, it was almost a foregone conclusion.  Not so for me.  I had begun to have doubts.  In February, the Ministry reviewed our dossier and had a concern.  An email was sent in March requesting a letter from the F.B.I. addressing Kendall's misdemeanor arrest - which was never prosecuted.  Frantically, I sent emails and made many phone calls.  I spoke to three of the nicest FBI agents, all of whom were unable to help.  A dear friend reached out to a Congressman whose staff has been incredibly thoughtful in attempting to retrieve the elusive letter.  Four weeks later, I accepted the conclusion that the F.B.I. just "doesn't do that."  What more could I do?  I was not able to get what was requested.  It was a fun time in our house. 

And then...on April 14th...we received notice that:

The government graciously considered the additional documents supplied and granted our petition.  Many huzzahs, hollas and hip, hip, hoorays don't begin to display the excitement we feel!  Sometime soon we may be fortunate enough to meet many kindred spirits in country.  I. can't. wait.


I now will start on the nursery, which will never compare to the gorgeousness of the Kohlbacher's nursery but, alas, I don't have her genes.

Why adopt?

"Why would you adopt? Just have another of your own." 

That question makes my heart hurt.  We could have another biological child, God willing.  We have been fortunate enough not to struggle with infertility.  But I can't look at images of suffering, hurting, lonely, hungry, thirsty, dirty, sad children without thinking about doing something.  In response to sharing those thoughts, I was told to donate money.  Which is great.  And we have.  Most recently, we have collected donations for Haiti.  Donated to other worthwhile organizations who help fight poverty, hunger and thirst.  Both domestically and abroad.  But it is not enough for us.

I grew up with one or more pictures of children from across the world on my parent's refrigerator.  Children they had sponsored to be able to go to school, eat regularly, have a safe place to be.  That is a wonderful thing to be able to do for that child.  It is a needed.  But it is not enough for us.

I always wanted to adopt.  There was not a defining moment in my life that resulted in that determination. Although, I love Anne Shirley, Jack Kelly aka Francis Sullivan, and Annie Warbucks deeply.

I don't think Kendall has any deep connection to fictional (or non-fictional) adoptees from his childhood.  But regardless of his inability to understand a trio of girls singing "Tomorrow" at the top of their lungs, adoption is something that we have consistently discussed and desired over the past 11 years.

The choice between giving birth or adopting a child was not a difficult one for me.  I already felt - if we had a biological baby - that I would be turning my back on a baby who would complete our family.  A baby who we need and who needs us. I couldn't/can't do that.  So, the choice was easy for me.  I can't speak for Kendall except to say that he agrees.  Not to the same extent.  He doesn't have some sort of bond, connection to a child he has never seen, doesn't know.  But that is ok.  He didn't really have that bond with our girls until they were 2 or 3.  Or at least well into the pregnancy.  It will come.  We both agree with that fact.  He's just far more practical than I am.  Boring.  And while I dream of "pink ponies, happy sky," I am also well aware that the road we have chosen is not the easy one.  But we have never done things the easy way.  That would have been too...easy.

It has begun.

The process of adopting a precious child from another country will be a roller-coaster of emotions. But before we get to the "fun" part consisting of waiting and waiting and waiting and responding "we haven't heard anything, so please stop asking," the mountains of paperwork intimidate me with the uncertainty, complexity and enormity of this undertaking.

The first piece of paperwork due is the 1600A, which is the "application for advance processing of orphan petition." This is the form required by the US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), enabling a U.S. couple (us) to be determined qualified or not to adopt a (non specific) foreign-born child. Doesn't that sound amazing. (This will be a fun game, guess when I am being sarcastic or not.) No, it doesn't. It sounds boring. But whatever, I feel like Anne Shirley and will begin renaming governmental entities and documents to reflect how they should be called. For example, 1600A shall forever more be referred to as: Critical Appraisal for the Dependably Discreet Parentally Deprived (CADDPD). Taa daa.

In order to file the CADDPD (aka 1600A), you have to have certified birth certificates, certified copy of your marriage license, and home study. (For anyone else independently adopting from a non-Hague country, I am not sure if the documents have to be apostilled yet.)

I have ordered our certified birth certificates. It is now official. I have begun hemorrhaging money. It is pretty exciting.

I will mail the request for a certified copy of our marriage license today as well. Next, we wait for 2 weeks until the next baby step.